Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize