Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My vagina just recognized that song.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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