I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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