he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
