you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
