Screwed.edu
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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