oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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