at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize