I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
