HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize