You work out of a Hotel?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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