I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
