yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
