Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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