I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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