I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We are two peas in an std pod
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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