YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize