so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
