i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
