Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
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