His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
