No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
