she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
