She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize