We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
