Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my being single is dangerous.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
