I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
