so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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