I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
