nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How does it feel to date your dad?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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