Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize