my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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