***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
