I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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