i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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