Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
