I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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