And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
True strength comes from lack of pants
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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