note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
