so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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