I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
