Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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