His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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