the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The air taste purple.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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