Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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