we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
