I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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