i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
