I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
