My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Don't EVER smell your tampon
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize