Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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