I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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