I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
