I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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