Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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