To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
