Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
