If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
