Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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