i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
