I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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