Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I will pee on everything he values.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
