The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
