does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
