I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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