Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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