Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
