rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
