Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
