he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
