I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
