You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
