garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
