Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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