tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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