i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
