there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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