Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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