Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
