So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
