Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
