Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
why is half of my head shaved?
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