I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
