Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
too bad you live with your parents still
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
